


Limerence

by AtomicFireball



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Awkwardness, Beautiful Cinnamon Roll Too Good For This World, Fluff, Gen, Romance, genderbent, too pure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-03-26 13:38:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3852805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtomicFireball/pseuds/AtomicFireball
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a collection of drabbles set in an AU where Dan is a female (Diane) instead of a male. There isn't really a difference in his personality or background, just which genitals he was born with. There may be a few mentions of sex as well as a few swear words, hence the rating.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Exposure

Exposure

Diane glared mournfully at her exposed torso and the small stomach which had gradually appeared during the holiday season.

“I am so out of shape” she moaned.

She glanced up at Phil, who, despite eating just as much as her over the holidays, looked just the same as before. It was harder for her to lose weight than it was for him. He turned to meet her gaze and smirked.

“Damn you!” she muttered playfully as she nudged his leg with her bare foot. 

Phil simply smiled as he walked around the corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the chapters are really friggin' short so I will go back and revise at some point. This is kind of a challenge to myself to see how much I can improve my writing over 25 drabbles so any advice or criticism would be appreciated.


	2. Delivery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diane is ill.

Phil had been gone for about a week and Diane had been worshiping the porcelain god for what seemed like an eternity.

“Ugh.”

She sat expecting the groceries. She worried about an accidental pregnancy, although it seemed so unlikely. They used protection, she had her period (however, it had been lighter than usual, not that she would complain about it.) and she probably just had a stomach bug or some food that disagreed with her. She still had ordered a test from Tesco just in case.

Soon the doorbell rang, but she wasn't in a position to stand up and get the delivery when it arrived as she weathered a particularly intense period of puking. She made an effort to stand before returning to the toilet. She heard a door close and Phil appeared shortly with a concerned expression on his face and the pregnancy tests in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a bit of an explanation about why she isn't on the pill in later chapters.


	3. Frustration and Flight

“Oh s***. My parents will kill me,” Diane said tensely “and then they’ll kill you.”

“More like torture me and rip my bits off” Phil whispered, sliding to the floor, one hand gripping a fistful of black hair. 

“This is what they warned me about, don’t move in with the internet stranger, you’ll drop out of Uni and end up pregnant. Those were just stupid worst case scenarios, yet somehow all of them have occurred!” 

“My mum’s going to kill me as well, hopefully before your parent’s mutilate me.”

“How on earth will we take care of a baby? We can’t even handle Dil!” she threw her hands up in frustration. “At least now we know I’m not fat.”

Phil began to open his mouth, stopping quickly when she pointed a warning finger towards him. ”Not a single word.”

He raised his hands up in mock surrender while slowly standing up. “I wasn't saying anything.” His hands lowered, becoming an offer to pull her up. She accepted gratefully as her legs were cramping. She stood up, stretched, and turned around to grab the pregnancy test.

She glimpsed a flash of motion out of the corner of her brown eyes before being scooped up damsel-in-distress style into Phil’s arms and carried unceremoniously around the flat.

“You’re still as light as a feather.” he said gleefully before collapsing on the couch. She turned towards him, smiling and only slightly nauseated before realizing she had left the urine soaked stick in the kitchen.

“I should probably should go throw away the test.” she said grimacing. 

Phil pulled a face as she slid across his lap.

“Ew.”

“Better get used to it. Babies aren't known for being sanitary.”


	4. Careful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil makes a phone call.

She could hear Phil’s nervous pacing from the kitchen as the phone call went to voicemail. 

“Ah.. Hi mum, you should call me back as soon as you can. I... Um..” His sentence cut off by his cell phone ringing. Phil swore under his breath. Not just a mild swear, a curse word she had never heard him utter before, although she used it often.

She heard a muffled greeting from the other end of the phone and then a louder more concerned sounding outburst.

“No mum, I’m doing well. I’m not dying.”  
He gave a quiet chuckle that came off as more terrified than humorous. 

“The thing is.. Imayhavegottenagirlpregnant.” His voice became quieter and quieter as the statement progressed. She listened to the brief moment of silence before the irate woman on the line exploded in a burst of words. 

“YOU WHAT?!”

“We wer-” 

He tried vainly to explain the situation while his mum ranted loudly on about the common sense he clearly lacked.

“WE TAUGHT YOU BETTER THAN THIS! YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW TO STAY SAFE!”

“We used protection every time! DIANE AND I-”

He tried to finish only to be cut off by a rather furious string of indistinguishable swear words and then a distinct growl “Phillip, you got a girl FIVE YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU PREGNANT?”

The silence lasted for a second before the storm of threats to Phil’s life began.

Diane sighed. Was it sad this went much more smoothly than she had expected?


	5. Surprise

Phil walked into the bedroom they occasionally shared. (his late night cereal runs and her early morning pacing meant neither of them ended up sleeping much when they slept in the same bed. They also hadn't gotten around to buying a larger bed yet.) His usually cheerful expression had been replaced by a sickly mix of fear and frustration.

“Your parents called me.”

Oh ****. They had also called her multiple times, leaving messages asking her to call them back, though it had been easier to ignore them than having to explain the situation. 

“Apparently you haven’t been responding to their calls.” He began using his serious voice which sounded equal parts sexy and terrifying. “Diane, you only have a couple of months to go. How long were you planning on putting this off?”

“Until he turns two” she replied flippantly “I’m thinking of giving them a surprise grandchild.”

Her attempt at levity utterly failed.

“You have two weeks to tell them or I will.”

She burrowed her head under her pillow as he turned to leave the room.

“Although... Maybe we can surprise them next time.”

She smiled grimly, briefly peeking out from under the blanket, and threw her phone across the room.


	6. Improper

They were sprawled out under the grey checked duvet, both tired and sweaty from their recent exertion. Phil lazily stroked her cheek as Diane burrowed into his side. 

“Have you thought about names yet?” he whispered. It was something neither of them had addressed. Diane bit her lip before sighing.

“Not yet,” she said while snuggling closer “We should probably find out the gender before deciding on a name”. Phil smiled thoughtfully before breaking into a huge grin. “What is that for?” She raised an eyebrow.”Dil and Winston will not be considered.”

Phil gave an exaggerated frown before resting his head on the pillow. They laid in comfortable silence for a few minutes as Phil thought about the new limitations. His eyes widened and face brightened.

“We could just choose a gender neutral name like Taylor.”

“What would we use for a middle name?”

“Sam.”

“Taylor Sam... Really?” She paused. “We don’t even know what last name our kid is going to have.”

She gasped as he broke her train of thought. His lips caressed her neck as his body pinned her against the bed once more, his playful grin morphing into a lopsided smirk.

“Does it really matter?" He paused and looked into her eyes which were as liquid and as captivating as honey. "I’ll marry you someday and until then we can just be an improper family."


End file.
